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One day, back from school, your child officially announced it to you: "I have a lover (or a lover)." How to behave in front of these childish loves, when they last ... or do not last?
Should we take these loves seriously?
- This love feeling is very close to what an adult can feel : the child wants to be with the other person all the time, shows delicate attentions towards him, prefers his company to that of others ... It is very important for him that you respect this real feeling without minimizing it or making fun of it. On the other hand, it is useless to lock him in this situation. Recognize that he is in love "for the moment". Do not make him believe that this story will last forever!
- Avoid speaking, for example, of his "fiancé (e)"to constantly ask him about his news, to make him feel guilty if he changes it ... or to project your feelings into his story! Use discretion. It is essential to keep the secrets that he confides to you, not to repeat them around you, even if the anecdote is charming!
What if they play "make love"?
- Children in love, there have always been! On the other hand, what is relatively new is that this sincere feeling is today parasitized by what the little ones hear or believe they know about sexuality. He sometimes enters into these loves a part of play where they interfere to reproduce the gestures of adults. But at their age, if they experience a certain sexual curiosity and pleasures of the body (they like to be cradled, cuddled, caressed ...), it is not the same for sexual desire or pleasure.
- There is no question of letting them mimic adultsbut to explain to them that, for the moment, they can not have access to sexuality and that their body is not ready to take advantage of it. You can say to him: "It's not an activity, it's not child's play, you can not do that when you're little, these kisses and those things are reserved for grown-ups." Be firm, but do not scold him, punish him, or shame him, it may hinder his sexual fulfillment in the future.