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In front of the "sweets" department of the supermarket or at the park when you come back, your child is making quirks and stings monster rages. Case by case solution with our specialist, Dr. Daniel Marcelli, child psychiatrist.
He made a whim because he was interrupted
- He plays in the park and has fun. He is in his world. When you call him, he is surprised, revolted.
- What has to be done. Like anyone who does something that interests him, he does not like to be interrupted. But he also learns to live with others, with rules (it's cold, it's time to return). It is an apprenticeship of the constraints, indispensable which must be carried out progressively. Next time, anticipate the announcement. You can tell him he has a quarter of an hour left or a toboggan slide, an episode of his cartoon ...
- What to tell him. "I know, it's hard but it's like that, you had fun, it's time to go in. You'll meet your friends after a sleep."
He wants to touch everything at the supermarket
- Remember, he had started shopping quietly in the cart, then he had asked to get off. You gave in and finished running after him while he was touching everything. Attention, in young children, habits are taken very quickly! He now associates the exit to the supermarket to a walk where he has the right to do everything.
- What has to be done. Stop this habit as soon as possible. Try to install another "ritual": we do not get off the cart, we do not touch anything, we look, it's already great to walk with mom in the middle of all these lights and pretty colors!
- What to tell him. "The last time you had the right to go down and it did not go well because you wanted to take everything in. This time, you look at the colors, the people who pass or you sing quietly."
It's a whim because you're not available
- Between the races, the meals, the duties of the grand ... your schedule is overflowing. It is this moment that your child chooses to want to catch the cutlery on the edge of the sink. He repeats "Want, want!" You get upset. He insists and ends up rolling on the floor. You scream and send it to his room.
- What has to be done. He did not want the cutlery, but your attention. He pushed you to the end. That's what he was looking for. Before you get there, next time, put yourself up to it, lower your voice, look at it in the face.
- What to tell him. "I'm very busy, I'd like you to take some toys, you can sit next to me, I'm preparing dinner and I promise to take a moment to read you a story."
"My daughter is capricious, there is always something wrong, she looks like she is testing, for example, she often wants to eat in front of the TV, she screams, and once I cracked, I guess she remembers, so we have a "carrot": she eats and she has the right to look a little.In the street, she refuses to walk and rolls on the ground! There, my husband wears it. It's embarrassing, people are watching us, we can not leave it like that, I think it's because of the arrival of his brother, I hope it's going to calm down! "Nathalie, mother of Naomie, 3 years old, and Evan, 1 year old.
Maria Poblete with Dr. Daniel Marcelli, child psychiatrist, author of La Violence chez les petits, ed. Bayard.